


Shark Week Is The Worst

by Arlene0401



Series: Tumblr drabbles and oneshots 2018 [1]
Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Cunnilingus, Established Relationship, F/M, Fluff and Smut, Masturbation, Menstrual Sex, Menstruation, Originally Posted on Tumblr, Tumblr Prompt, it's not bloody or messy i swear
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-15
Updated: 2018-06-15
Packaged: 2019-05-23 20:41:50
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,470
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14941037
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Arlene0401/pseuds/Arlene0401
Summary: Shark week is miserable, cranky and painful. Unless you have a boyfriend like Connie Springer, who has the godlike power to make it suck a little less.





	Shark Week Is The Worst

**Author's Note:**

> Requested by anon on tumblr with the prompt: "No, you’re not fixing it again. Call a plumber."

Shark week was the worst.

Shark week in summer especially.

Sasha contemplated moving herself and the hot water bottle into the fridge. Letting go of the squishy item with the faded terry cloth cover that her mother had made for her when she had first moved to a college dorm was out of the question. It provided at least a little relief from the cramps. But lying in bed with a hot water bottle at an outside temperature of 25°C was insane.

She was sweating, itchy, in pain and generally miserable. Add a pounding migraine, mood swings and a ravenous craving for cheese.

With a huff, she kicked off the covers and flopped spreadeagle on her back. On the other side of the bed, Connie was breathing quietly, and she felt an irrational spike of anger. How could he sleep like this when his girlfriend was uncomfortable?

Admittedly, during the day Connie had been a sweetheart. When she had panicked because after last month she had forgotten to stock up her supplies, he had quietly shown her the fresh box of tampons and the pantyliners he’d already bought the week before, having noticed that she’d run out. He had gone out in the sweltering heat of an August afternoon to get her favorite icecream, given her a scalp massage against her beginning headache and watched The Notebook with her despite knowing full well it was going to make her bawl her eyes out.

Oh Connie, her sweet Connie. 

Great. Now she was getting horny as well. Why did she always get so randy on her period? It didn’t make the event any less unpleasant.

Well. Maybe jilling off could at least ease her cramps a little. She scooted closer to Connie’s sleeping form, close enough she could perceive his scent but hopefully wouldn’t disturb him. He was a religious evening showerer, insisting that it saved on the sheets, and now that she got a noseful of his body wash and overall clean scent, Sasha certainly wasn’t going to complain. God, he always smelled so fucking mouthwatering.

Sasha licked her fingers to get them generously wet and quietly slipped her hand into her underpants - rose-patterned monstrosities, worn out and huge but oh so soft and comfortable - and without any ado started gently circling her clit. This was _business_ \- she only wanted to get off and hopefully finally get some fucking sleep.

Almost immediately, she felt the telltale tingling warmth of hot arousal. Fuck yes, this was going to be quick and good. Nothing worse than wanting to quickly rub one out and having it dragging on and on without being able to climax. Heart already beating hard, Sasha concentrated on a small spot just above her clit that always felt so good, kept the touch of her fingers light and at the right tempo, moving with the practised ease of many years.

She remembered Connie asking her to let him watch her masturbate, wanting to learn every tiny bit about her body, and how he had watched with rapt attention, incredibly turned on but still focusing on her in the honest wish to learn how to best please her. It had been so embarrassing, showing someone else what she had always done alone, putting herself on display, but at the same time so hot, and she had come hard and fast. The next moment, she had wrestled him on his back, mounted him and ridden him like there was no tomorrow, and he had only been able to hold on for dear life and scream her name.

Involuntarily, Sasha let out a small moan, and suddenly the wet rubbing of her fingers sounded very loud in the stuffy bedroom, but it wasn’t like she could really help it at this point, and -

Connie sat bolt upright in bed and yelled: “No, you’re not fixing it again. Call a plumber!”

Sasha squealed and nearly fell out of bed. She scrambled for the switch of her bedside lamp, and they stared at each other in confusion.

“What?”

“What?”

She blinked. “You just told me to call a plumber.”

Connie looked as confused as before. “A plumber?”

“Yeah. Was it that dream again?”

He shuddered. “Possibly.”

“Honey, it’s been half a year since the… drain incident.”

“Please. Don’t remind me.”

Her skin crawled. The drain incident was something neither of them liked to be reminded of, and it was the only time Connie had ever forbidden her to do something. He had sat her down and explained that he loved her dearly, but honest to God would lock away all her liquorice for the rest of eternity if she ever, ever touched a pipe wrench again.

Connie yawned and ran a hand over his short cropped hair. “Sorry if I startled you, sweetbuns.” He made to peck her cheek, but stopped halfway, taking in her flushed, sweaty face. A slow smile split his face.

“Oh, I see. Horny on main?”

“Shut up,” she grumbled. “I was just taking care of it.”

“Sorry,” he repeated. “Want me to lend you a hand? As a compensation?”

Sasha blanked. “Uh, you don’t have to…”

“Shh, it’s all good. Everything for my girl. It’s hard to deal with on top of everything else, right?”

“A bit. I mean, sex drive is okay, but on shark week it’s just annoying. Like, your body is horny but your head is just not in the mood for it?”

“Can’t say I can relate,” he grinned, “but it must be bothersome. Here, let me take care of you.”

Hovering over her, he slowly pulled down the awful granny knickers without as much as a snicker. But when he settled down between her legs, Sasha realised that he was really going to go to town, and suddenly she felt self-conscious.

“Connie, honey, I’m on my period.”

“So?” He kissed the inside of her thigh. “You use tampons, don’t you? Not much blood to worry about then. And furthermore,” he nipped at the soft skin playfully, “fastest way to get you off and go back to sleep.”

“Oh, such a gentleman,” she muttered but was cut off by a firm but gentle swipe of his tongue.

“Oh? You were saying?”

“Oh, shut up and eat me out already.” His gaze full of mischief let her add: “ _Please_.”

As if that was all the go-ahead he needed, Connie set to work, spread her folds with his fingers, teased her clit with the tip of his tongue, alternately taking her into his mouth and gently sucking rhythmically. Instantly, all the heat was back, all cramps and awkwardness forgotten.

Her hands flew to his head, wishing - not for the first time - that he had just a little longer hair to hold on to. It was good, so good, and he knew her so well, so intimately, that he instinctively knew when to change tempo, when to flick the tip of his tongue or flatten it for wide swipes. Always watchful, gauging all her reactions, noting what made her gasp and squirm.

She met his gaze, and it told her that it was okay. That it was not selfish and greedy to take the pleasure he provided, that he wasn’t expecting any payback or seeing this as a service.

So she raised her spread legs and rocked her hips, the tension of muscles adding to the sparks that ignited inside her, shooting up from her groin and spreading along her thighs and up her spine.

It only took a couple of minutes and she was coming, too gone to censor the shouts of “Oh God, oh God” pouring from her lips.

“Feeling better?” he asked and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. She closed her eyes and did a mental checkup.

“Wow. My migraine is gone. And the cramps too.” She pulled him into a tight embrace. “Thank you so much, mister miracle worker.”

“I know. I’m better than any TV evangelist. And cheaper.”

“Cheaper? You mean you don’t want me to go down on you?”

“Thanks babe, but I’ll pass. Maybe put your coffee mugs into the dishwasher yourself instead of leaving them all over the place?”

“What? That’s blackmailing and emotional cruelty. But… hmmm… I can promise to keep my hands off the pipe wrench.”

“You already did promise that.”

“Yes, but I can fortify my promise. I solemnly swear to never touch any piece of water pipes in this house again.”

He kissed her nose. “You’re too good for this world, a literal angel.”

Sasha fished for her underpants and put them on again. Then she turned to her side and let Connie spoon her, although it was still stuffy and hot and way too warm to touch. It was familiar and comfortable.

Maybe shark week wasn’t so bad after all.


End file.
